The Junior Milers Bear Hunt!
The Bear Hunt – Operation Junior Milers
Mission Date: Sunday 20th July 2025
Location: Ambersham Common, Sussex – terrain: rugged, muddy, and crawling with bears.
Mission Brief:
At 0900 hours sharp, the Junior Milers Regiment assembled — a fearless battalion of young recruits armed with maps, grit, and questionable camouflage. Their orders:
“Locate six checkpoints, capture the flag, and return to base — without becoming bear breakfast.”
The mission demanded brains, brawn, and bravery. Each squad was paired with a seasoned officer to keep order in the ranks (and to carry snacks, obviously).
The Squads & Their Commanding Officers:
The Oogey Boogeys – Lance Corporal Reading & Major Wheeler
Track Runners – Warrant Officer Wheeler & Private Potts
Usains Bolts – Colonel Vernon & Staff Sergeant Fitzsimmons
Namaste – Brigadier Brierley
Second the Best – Field Marshal Savage & Second Lieutenant Fitzsimmons
Imagine Losing – General Jenkins
The Knysna Nobodies – Sergeant Brett
The Nonchalant Nobodies – Major General Strachan
The Silly Sausages – Lieutenant General Saffery & Captain Vinycombe
A formidable lineup. Each unit had a plan. Each plan… destined for glorious chaos.
Enemy Forces:
Bear Ben – large, stealthy, rumoured to have stolen porridge in three counties.
Bear Duncan – equally hairy, deceptively fast, prone to ambush tactics.
Both predators. Both merciless. Both… slightly ticklish.
Operation in Action:
As dawn broke, mist rolled across Ambersham Common and the recruits gathered in the mud.
Camo was the uniform of the day — war paint, fern leaves, and enough twigs to start a bonfire. Some blended so well into the forest that commanders feared we might never find them again.
Then — BONG! — the gong sounded.
Boots hit the dirt. The Great Bear Hunt had begun.
Six checkpoints. One flag. Infinite chaos.
From the thickets came the sounds of war:
“I see the flag!”
“Where’s the map?!”
“RUN! BEAR!!”
When a bear pounced, penalties were swift and severe — a two-minute standstill while your comrades fled (or pointed and laughed).
The forest rang with laughter, roars, and the occasional tactical debate over whether crawling through mud was truly “necessary.”
Mission Outcome:
After an hour of pure tactical brilliance (and several snack breaks), the first troop thundered back to HQ — The Pill Box.
Emerging victorious, covered in mud and glory…
Winners: Imagine Losing
Commanded by General “I Don’t Follow Instructions” Jenkins and his elite squad of enthusiasm specialists.
Final Debrief:
No casualties, minimal bear bites, and maximum fun.
The operation was a roaring success — teamwork, strategy, and laughter in perfect formation.
Bravo Junior Milers!
Until the next mission… keep your laces tight, your maps dry, and your eyes peeled for bears.
